i woke up this morning to a blaring alarm-clock radio
and after my thoughts cleared of their dream-gibberish
i noticed the way i was standing
and rubbing the sleep from my eyes;
the first thing i thought of when i woke up was you.
i want you to put band-aids on my chest
on the place where i hurt
and in the dim light of your room
tell me i am fine.
sew me up like one of your thrift store dresses
with shiny new buttons
and pretty green string.
when i was fifteen i got hit by a car
and cracked my head on the pavement
spilling pretty red blood on 66.
that same year the girl i thought i loved told me i was useless
and i can’t tell which left the bigger scar.
the summer before, my mom forgot how to sleep
and my sister took it to heart.
i learned that people break easier than you’d think
and the things that seem solid usually aren’t.
ever since i was young i’ve been infatuated with empty spaces
the ones that are gray and cold and far from anyone.
it’s only in these dirty, despondent places
that i can feel completely pure.
but it’s different with you;
you are warm.
i want to be one of the trees you climb
tall and stable and green in june
rip off my bark and place your hands on my wounds
carve your initials into my side
so that one day strangers can wonder who you were.
a day will come when i will die and before my trunk rots
i hope you’ll cut me down, and with my body, build a home.
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